for couples, single parents and co-parents
"There is no such thing as a perfect parent, so just be a real one." -Sue Atkins
Kids can feel like a blessing and a curse all in one fell swoop. Curse is probably a bit harsh, but when it's 3am and your kid just woke you up for the 5th time - blessing isn't the word that comes to mind. Ironically, when they're teens and kind of want nothing to do with us, we'd love for them to wake us up in the night. One of the hardest lessons in grief that we learn as parents is that from the moment you become one, you have to start learning to let go.
So, why is parenting so complicated?
Long story short, society hasn't done a great job at preparing us and most of us are carrying around a lot of "stuff" from the past. We start out with the best of intentions and at some point along the way, we realize we're struggling and have no idea how to course correct.
You are not alone.
Whether you're an expecting parent panicking at the idea of raising an entire human being or have been parenting for many years, I know how challenging it is. And it's not you. It's not your kid. It's lack of support. It's being unsure of what behaviors are normal. It's not knowing the power of peaceful parenting, much less how to go about being a peaceful parent.
Don't waste more time asking yourself "Is this really the parent I want to be?" Stop making yourself feel like sh*t because you feel like you aren't doing good enough. Don't sit alone with the creeping feeling that you have no idea how to help your kid with the challenges they face.
Maybe you feel solid as a parent, but you've realized that as a couple, parenting has had a significant impact on your relationship/marriage and you feel disconnected. Or perhaps you're struggling with co-parenting. I know first-hand how absolutely challenging that can be. However, it is possible to not be forever in conflict with your child's other parent.
You can have healthy relationships with your kids.
You & your partner can be good parents and find time for date nights.
You can co-parent successfully.
You can decrease stress within your blended family.
You can set boundaries with your family members.
I come from an attachment/peaceful parenting perspective.
No, it's not all kumbaya and "good vibes only." It just means I immensely dig attachment-theory and focus on teaching parents how to keep their cool (with each other and their kids), even when you want to lose your sh*t. I also teach parents how to repair with their kids when they do lose it. Because we're human and it happens. I'm not going to tell you how to parent but I am going to help you figure out how to parent with intention.
I work with conventional and unconventional parenting scenarios. Whether you're flying solo, in a duo, a polycule or something in between - it's all good.
For information on family therapy click here.
For information on teen therapy click here.
For information on individual therapy click here.
While I am trained in co-parent coordination which includes high-conflict co-parents, it is very rare that I will take this on. If that's what you're looking for, we can discuss but I will most likely be giving you referrals.
FYI: Brainspotting can be incorporate into couples / parent work. Please visit my Brainspotting page to learn more.